If you are a java programmer you might like this about it:
strongly typed
there are lots of jobs
it's cross platform
Hint: you could... | you get... | you can... | you will... | now you... | there are... | you are... | if you... | it is... | you have... | there's a... | there is... | you don't... | the way... | it's pretty... | no one... | chicks dig... | there's no... | everything is... | it's really...
If you are a java programmer you won't be happy to know that:
there is a direct measurable connection between number of rows typed and number of coffee cups drinked
Hint: there is... | you will... | most of... | you can't... | it's not... | it is... | there are... | if you... | you probably... | you have... | most people... | this is... | there's a... | you need... | it takes... | there's no... | you are... | they are... | you're probably... | you can...
If you are a java programmer then you could enjoy similar things/activities:
drinking beer
Hint: being a... | buying a...
If you want to really are a java programmer you should have those things:
Hint: lots of... | at least... | a lot... | a good... | a great... | really big... | something to...
If you are a java programmer and you want to push the limits, try to:
try jython, jruby or scala
write jni code
code using notepad
Hint: do it... | ask for... | try to... | make a... | ask if... | not use... | take a... | tell them... | talk to... | create your... | take the... | shoot a... | ride a... | make your... | go to... | make an... | actually do... | work for... | find a... | ask to...
When you are a java programmer it is not the same as ... because ...:
Hint: going to... | being a... | riding a... | being an... | programming in... | driving, because...
When you are a java programmer it is essentially the same as ... because ...:
Hint: being a... | being in... | any other...
When you are a java programmer your "mortal enemies" are:
brevity
lisp programmers
language snobs
productivity
intelligence
ruby on rails
Hint: people who... | lack of... | high priced... | people with... | things that... | get rich... | other geeks... | a phone...
These sites will help you when you are a java programmer:
javablogs.com
Hint: ...
You know it's the last time you are a java programmer when:
oracle buys sun
you get your head out of your ass
Hint: you get... | you have... | you are... | you run... | you see... | you find... | when your... | you go... | the last... | you lost... | you receive... | you can't... | you try... | the instructor... | you look... | you buy... | you start... | it's the... | you hear... | your approval...
When you are a java programmer and fail it's probably because:
Hint: you are... | you were... | you didn't... | you tried... | you're not... | you got... | you didnt... | you had... | you don't... | you took... | it wasn't... | you have... | you dont... | you couldn't... | you aren't... | you've got... | it was... | you smoke... | you asked... | you drank...
What would be different in the idea (you are a java programmer) if you had a million dollars:
you wouldn't be a java programmer, you'd be doing something more interesting
Hint: you could... | you would... | i would... | you'd be... | i could... | you wouldn't... | you can... | i wouldnt... | it would... | you'd have... | i'd buy... | i wouldn't...
If you are a java programmer it's probably because:
there are lots of jobs
most schools teach it
it's easy to learn
it's cross platform
you can accomplish a lot with it
it's straight forward
only working in lisp or ruby would be silly
you don't know how to program without an ide
Hint: you are... | you have... | you can't... | you want... | you lost... | you just... | you need... | it is... | you love... | you've got...
