If you are going to write a romantic novel you might like this about it:
things will work out by the end
no matter how trashy your final book is - someone still is going to buy it
working from home, in your underpants
Hint: you could... | you get... | you can... | you will... | now you... | there are... | you are... | if you... | it is... | you have... | there's a... | there is... | you don't... | the way... | it's pretty... | no one... | chicks dig... | there's no... | everything is... | it's really...
If you are going to write a romantic novel you won't be happy to know that:
sometimes main character dies
it's still going to be about money
even if you make it into nytimes bestsellers list, it doesn't mean you wrote something good
"ivanhoe" is not what you think it is, stop smirking
the femme fatale is still going to appear in your novel, whether you want it or not
your editor will butcher anything you come up with, especially anything particularly clever
Hint: there is... | you will... | most of... | you can't... | it's not... | it is... | there are... | if you... | you probably... | you have... | most people... | this is... | there's a... | you need... | it takes... | there's no... | you are... | they are... | you're probably... | you can...
If you are going to write a romantic novel then you could enjoy similar things/activities:
buying romantic gifts
hoping for a better future
celebrating st.valentine's
disney movies
reading romantic novels
Hint: being a... | buying a...
If you want to really are going to write a romantic novel you should have those things:
schmoltzy ending
love story
knowledge of history if you're going to write historical romance
a sense of romance
chick flicks
sensuality
unforgettable characters
pirate/viking/vampire
Hint: lots of... | at least... | a lot... | a good... | a great... | really big... | something to...
If you are going to write a romantic novel and you want to push the limits, try to:
start with mooses having a breakfast
write about a white whale, which somehow saves us all
not use the word "love"
make an ending that makes sense
work pro bono
reveal main character of the romance as a loving caring and warm superdigimon megatron
include a racy girl, drugs and mafia into story
include gypsies
write a romantic novel about a writer who's writing a romantic novel about a writer writing a passionate romantic novel
write the saddest happy ending ever
end with no hope
have a book that doesn't have a love triangle
Hint: do it... | ask for... | try to... | make a... | ask if... | not use... | take a... | tell them... | talk to... | create your... | take the... | shoot a... | ride a... | make your... | go to... | make an... | actually do... | work for... | find a... | ask to...
When you are going to write a romantic novel it is not the same as ... because ...:
getting married, because your book can actually have a happy ending
cinderella story, because somebody already wrote that
Hint: going to... | being a... | riding a... | being an... | programming in... | driving, because...
When you are going to write a romantic novel it is essentially the same as ... because ...:
every other romantic novel in last 2000 years, because there's no inventions in field of love
every other romantic novel, because variations on a theme make people nervous
Hint: being a... | being in... | any other...
When you are going to write a romantic novel your "mortal enemies" are:
real-life examples
vampyres, undead and flesh-eating zombies
writer's block
Hint: people who... | lack of... | high priced... | people with... | things that... | get rich... | other geeks... | a phone...
These sites will help you when you are going to write a romantic novel:
Hint: ...
You know it's the last time you are going to write a romantic novel when:
your wife leaves you and gets 90% of your money
you find out that your story becomes real and regret writing in that bazooka-loving serial killer
your mystery series takes off
Hint: you get... | you have... | you are... | you run... | you see... | you find... | when your... | you go... | the last... | you lost... | you receive... | you can't... | you try... | the instructor... | you look... | you buy... | you start... | it's the... | you hear... | your approval...
When you are going to write a romantic novel and fail it's probably because:
you drawn a nasty comic
you didn't have the word "passion" on every page
you forgot what you were writing about
you wrote your book in one of dead languages
your wife fills in divorce and leaves, then your lawyer tells you that he's leaving with your wife
you didn't finish the story
Hint: you are... | you were... | you didn't... | you tried... | you're not... | you got... | you didnt... | you had... | you don't... | you took... | it wasn't... | you have... | you dont... | you couldn't... | you aren't... | you've got... | it was... | you smoke... | you asked... | you drank...
What would be different in the idea (you are going to write a romantic novel) if you had a million dollars:
you can finally set up an experiment with million monkeys on a million typewriters
you wouldn't have to - you'd already have too many chicks
you could buy out all your edition
Hint: you could... | you would... | i would... | you'd be... | i could... | you wouldn't... | you can... | i wouldnt... | it would... | you'd have... | i'd buy... | i wouldn't...
If you are going to write a romantic novel it's probably because:
you're missing romance in your life
you haven't written a new novel for 3 months now
Hint: you are... | you have... | you can't... | you want... | you lost... | you just... | you need... | it is... | you love... | you've got...