Subscribe to new topics If you are laid off:

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If you are laid off for the first time, you really should:
  • file for unemployment   
  • consider killing yourself online while other unemployed people   
  • watch you do it   
If you are laid off you should always:
  • look into the future with inspiration and hope that it has something better for you than what you had   
  • look for another job fast   
  • move to a different city and start fresh   
  • scream and yell when they tell you   
  • foam at the mouth, fall over and convulse   
  • shit your pants in the bosses office   
  • come back later & shit on the bosses desk   
  • throw eggs at the office building the night afterward   
  • phone in a bomb threat   
If you are laid off you should never:
  • threaten your boss   
  • bring your gun to pick up your last check   
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If you are laid off you might like this about it:
  • it's a chance for you to find new and maybe better place to work   
  • unemployment compensation benefits   
If you are laid off you won't be happy to know that:
  • it can take months to get you first unemployment check   
If you are laid off then you could enjoy similar things/activities:
If you want to really are laid off you should have those things:
  • a resume   
If you are laid off and you want to push the limits, try to:
  • don't go down alone   
  • rat out your co-workers   
  • negotiate a pay raise   
  • keep your composure   
  • shit yourself to garner sympathy   
  • keep the office keys   
  • find out where the boss lives   
  • act like a cat, make it hard to remove you   
  • use the company credit card on last hurrah   
  • kill the boss   
When you are laid off it is not the same as ... because ...:
When you are laid off it is essentially the same as ... because ...:
When you are laid off your "mortal enemies" are:
  • your former employer   
  • unemployment office   
  • you   
  • your wife   
  • your kids and pets   
  • creditors   
  • the bank   
  • the irs   
These sites will help you when you are laid off:
You know it's the last time you are laid off when:
  • unemployment checks dry up   
When you are laid off and fail it's probably because:
What would be different in the idea (you are laid off) if you had a million dollars:
  • i wouldve quit instead of getting fired   
If you are laid off it's probably because:
  • the economy   
  • they kept your assistant for less $$$$   
  • they finally cught you napping   
  • they found out you were a tthe strip club instead of working   


Never ceases to amaze me how you found it:

  • Be happy that you are not laid off
  • Things to to when you are laid off




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