Hint: you could... | you get... | you can... | you will... | now you... | there are... | you are... | if you... | it is... | you have... | there's a... | there is... | you don't... | the way... | it's pretty... | no one... | chicks dig... | there's no... | everything is... | it's really...
If you use mySQL you won't be happy to know that:
it silently converts questionable input to what it thinks you meant
string comparisons are by default case insensitive
#3 is nonsense if you properly configure your server and write good scripts
it doesn't really scale "by default" - you have to have your own scaling plan
Hint: there is... | you will... | most of... | you can't... | it's not... | it is... | there are... | if you... | you probably... | you have... | most people... | this is... | there's a... | you need... | it takes... | there's no... | you are... | they are... | you're probably... | you can...
If you use mySQL then you could enjoy similar things/activities:
postgreSQL
Oracle (not free)
StrokeDB
memcached
nginx
sphinxsearch
CouchDB
HyperTable
Hint: being a... | buying a...
If you want to really use mySQL you should have those things:
o'Reilly's MySQL Pocket Reference
phpMyAdmin
Hint: lots of... | at least... | a lot... | a good... | a great... | really big... | something to...
If you use mySQL and you want to push the limits, try to:
all the different storage engines
Hint: do it... | ask for... | try to... | make a... | ask if... | not use... | take a... | tell them... | talk to... | create your... | take the... | shoot a... | ride a... | make your... | go to... | make an... | actually do... | work for... | find a... | ask to...
When you use mySQL it is not the same as ... because ...:
aNSI SQL because mySQL isn't a standards whore
Hint: going to... | being a... | riding a... | being an... | programming in... | driving, because...
When you use mySQL it is essentially the same as ... because ...:
postgreSQL and Oracle, because they're all relational
Hint: being a... | being in... | any other...
When you use mySQL your "mortal enemies" are:
thinking mySQL isn't a real database (but... Google uses it)
lack of internet access
Hint: people who... | lack of... | high priced... | people with... | things that... | get rich... | other geeks... | a phone...
These sites will help you when you use mySQL:
MysqlPerformanceBlog
www.devshed.com/
www.mysql.com/
Hint: ...
You know it's the last time you use mySQL when:
your corrupted DB takes 20 hours to recover
the database is created that is as fast as mySQL but scales "by design"
Hint: you get... | you have... | you are... | you run... | you see... | you find... | when your... | you go... | the last... | you lost... | you receive... | you can't... | you try... | the instructor... | you look... | you buy... | you start... | it's the... | you hear... | your approval...
When you use mySQL and fail it's probably because:
myISAM blew up
you didn't read enough
there was no usable index
you've used too many joins
Hint: you are... | you were... | you didn't... | you tried... | you're not... | you got... | you didnt... | you had... | you don't... | you took... | it wasn't... | you have... | you dont... | you couldn't... | you aren't... | you've got... | it was... | you smoke... | you asked... | you drank...
What would be different in the idea (you use mySQL) if you had a million dollars:
the hell with mySQL. Retire to the Caymans.
it can save alot of overhead (money, not tables) on large database projects.
Hint: you could... | you would... | i would... | you'd be... | i could... | you wouldn't... | you can... | i wouldnt... | it would... | you'd have... | i'd buy... | i wouldn't...
If you use mySQL it's probably because:
Hint: you are... | you have... | you can't... | you want... | you lost... | you just... | you need... | it is... | you love... | you've got...